[Xierox]

How (not) to speak English Properly

1. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects.
2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
3. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.
4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
5. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat)
6. Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.
7. Be more or less specific.
8. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.
9. Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
10. No sentence fragments.
11. Contractions aren't necessary and shouldn't be used.
12. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
13. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.
14. One should NEVER generalize.
15. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
16. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
17. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
18. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
19. The passive voice is to be ignored.
20. Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas.
21. Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.
22. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
23. Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earth-shaking ideas.
24. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."
25. If you've heard it once, you've heard it a thousand times: Resist hyperbole; not one writer in a million can use it correctly.
26. Puns are for children, not groan readers.
27. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
28. Even IF a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
29. Who needs rhetorical questions?
30. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
And the last one...
31. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

_________________
A life, huh? Sounds cool . . . where can I download one of those?

[Alia]

lol, those work.<g>

[Xierox]

Yes, they do, but I don't recommend using them in school!
_________________
A life, huh? Sounds cool . . . where can I download one of those?

[Alia]

hehe, yeah mom would look at me funny.

[Xierox]

Kinda like my mom did.
_________________
A life, huh? Sounds cool . . . where can I download one of those?

[Alia]

lol, you did that?

[Xierox]

No, not really, but I should have!! I can just imagine her face! She'd be like, "After all these years of English and you still write like this!!!!!" Hmmm. Maybe it's better that i didn't.
_________________
A life, huh? Sounds cool . . . where can I download one of those?

[Alia]

lol, oh boy more english.<g>

[Xierox]

Exactly. <s>
_________________
A life, huh? Sounds cool . . . where can I download one of those?

[Xierox]

I do believe that you and I are the only people who browse this thread any more.
_________________
A life, huh? Sounds cool . . . where can I download one of those?

[Thalassa]

Oh, I look in here on occasion.
_________________
Hwæt! We Gardena in geardagum, þeodcyninga, þrym gefrunon, hu ða æþelingas ellen fremedon. Oft Scyld Scefing sceaþena þreatum, monegum mægþum, meodosetla ofteah, egsode eorlas.

[Xierox]

Well, guess that makes three. A trio if you will.
_________________
A life, huh? Sounds cool . . . where can I download one of those?

[RuthEmilyZ]

I browse it every once in a while, I just don't post that much.

RE
_________________
'Always read something that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.'
~P.J. O'Rourke

[burntofferings]

. . . the fourth

[burntofferings]

. . . the fourth